From Gary Nebeker, who coached me during sabbatical. I deeply resonate with this article – both in terms of the gift I experienced of being listened to by him, and in terms of how I see/understand myself and my gifts and interests. … Particularly this: “I was created to be a lover of beauty and mystery, an emotion artist, a devotee to the observation and description of emotions—mine and others. I flourish with a pace and rhythm of life that leaves ample room for reflection and prayer. But this reflection and prayer is geared toward a specific end: To be a listening presence to others.” … I think I truly am happiest when I am NOT in a “task-oriented leader” mode. And yet so much of my work does involve that.

Something to keep wrestling with …

Confessions of A “High Capacity” Wannabe

Would you consider yourself a high capacity person? If we are not high-capacity people, then where are we on “the capacity index”? Low? Low to Medium? Medium to occasionally high?

Consistent high quality output is said to be the distinguishing feature of the high capacity person. Maximizing every minute of the day, high capacity people are solutions-oriented, quick and efficient in what they do. Not only do they get things done, they consistently get great results.

They arrived at this place of amazing productivity because they have gained skill in time management, delegation, networking, and they know when to take appropriate rest.

The best high capacity people I know showcase these qualities. But more importantly, their relationship with the Lord is intimate. They serve by drastically depending upon the power of the Holy Spirit. They are emotionally healthy, self-aware, and, as such, relationally inviting. Above all, they are notably humble and have given up the need to maintain an image of success.

Do you know many people like this?

I grew up in a high-capacity family. My parents both had task-oriented careers. My dad was a weapons repair specialist in the U.S. Army and my mom was a branch manager in the military post exchange system. From early on they imparted a strong work ethic in me.

But in my growing-up years, then working as a blue-collar craftsman, then as a university professor, there was a part of me that just wanted to spend time thinking about things deeply, feeling things deeply, and having deep conversations with others.

There didn’t’ seem to be too many arenas in life where I could live out these longings vocationally. Counseling came close, but it wasn’t exactly the best use of my gifts and passions. Then in my mid-forties, I discovered a centuries-old practice called “spiritual direction.” I was intrigued!

I also became aware that training in spiritual direction was available. After much thought and prayer, I pursued that training. Several years later, with the completion of my certification in spiritual direction, I joyfully entered my new calling as a spiritual director and leadership coach.

It took fifty years to discover that a “high capacity” career was beyond my reach. I tried my best, but I eventually realized that I was better suited for a slower-paced, lower-capacity, and relationally-focused ministry to others.

When I told you last month that I was not a high capacity person, let me clarify what that doesn’t mean.

It doesn’t mean that old age has robbed me of vigor and initiative. It doesn’t mean I lack passion or focus. It doesn’t mean that I am living a life of carefree idleness down here in the Sonoran Desert.

But what it does mean is this: The Lord created me for a calling that is distinctly different from that of being a highly productive, task-oriented leader.

I was created to be a lover of beauty and mystery, an emotion artist, a devotee to the observation and description of emotions—mine and others. I flourish with a pace and rhythm of life that leaves ample room for reflection and prayer.

But this reflection and prayer is geared toward a specific end: To be a listening presence to others.

Whether it’s pastors, church leaders, missionaries, CEOs, military personnel, doctors, lawyers, moms, or other Christian counselors, I am honored that I get to listen to the stories of others. As a “soul friend” and “fellow traveler,” I journey with others attempting to discern what the Holy Spirit might be up to regarding God’s transformative agendas.

I guess the best way, then, to describe my calling would be to say that it involves “capacity of a different kind.”

In the Parable of the Talents we observe that Jesus entrusts His servants with various kingdom responsibilities based upon their abilities (Matt. 25:15). As D.A. Carson observes, “the talents are distributed according to the master’s evaluation of his servants’ capacities” (“Matthew,” EBC, 516).

Two of the productive servants were commended because they were faithful stewards of that which they had been given. The third servant does not do anything with what he was given. Instead, he blames the master for being harsh and unjust.

In view of this parable and other life observations, we might surmise that the Lord’s people are on a continuum when it comes to “capacity” or task output.

Some people are physically and temperamentally created to produce. Others may have less physical capacity and, as a result, produce less; but their contributions lie elsewhere (cf. 1 Cor. 12:22). Other temperaments may place more value on relationships than on getting stuff done.

Seasons of life also have a bearing on how much we can produce. Young parents can attest to this as can senior adults. Isn’t it also annoyingly true that health reversals have a way of diminishing our productivity

The expectations of our cultures and sub-cultures certainly have a huge say-so in all this as well.

Regardless of our age, personality, or bodily vigor, we are to put our “whole heart and soul” into our service for the Lord, “with the strength that God supplies” (Col. 3:23; 1 Pet. 4:11).

Consider this. A day is coming when what we have produced in this life will come under Divine scrutiny. Whether we are “low,” “medium,” or “high capacity” people, “the fire will test what sort of work each one has done” (1 Cor. 3:13).

In your circles, are high-capacity people often thought of as the most deeply committed to Christ? To what was Jesus referring when He told His disciples to “bear much fruit” (John 15:8)? To what was Jesus referring when he told Martha, “Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:42)?